pain: A poem I wrote about my abuse when I was younger

[devilspawn69]

The walls crumble all around me
I try to move but cant break free
A world of hatred and so much pain
I keep fighting but only to their gain
Screams escape me as the belt whips down
I fall down bleeding onto the ground
The laughter escapes from between his lips
I fight to regain control only to slip
Blood flows from me where the belt hit
Deep in my mind I think this is it
I pray for my end which never comes
I wish he would finally stop with his fun
Cries left unheard and wounds adding up
The abuse that once started finally is done
I have the visions still to this day
The devil in him will never go away
What kind of monster could hurt a child
What kind of person could be so vile
I cried out for help yet no one cared
no one would stop him they didn't dare
Everyone turned away from me
they saw what he did and they watched me bleed
Things like this need to end
Love and happiness everywhere needs to begin
I live a world of bad dreams and fears now
No one can stop this because they don't know how
The cycle is one that is hard to be broken
More honest words have never been spoken.

[sinnocent]

It's very well-written. But these lines seem a little preachy:

What kind of monster could hurt a child
What kind of person could be so vile
I cried out for help yet no one cared
no one would stop him they didn't dare
Everyone turned away from me
they saw what he did and they watched me bleed
Things like this need to end
Love and happiness everywhere needs to begin

But, still, very, very well-written. Good job.

[devilspawn69]

It's very well-written. But these lines seem a little preachy:

What kind of monster could hurt a child
What kind of person could be so vile
I cried out for help yet no one cared
no one would stop him they didn't dare
Everyone turned away from me
they saw what he did and they watched me bleed
Things like this need to end
Love and happiness everywhere needs to begin

But, still, very, very well-written. Good job.

Thanks, I don't really consider it preachy myself, its just how I feel, I mean all the shit that asshole put me through, lighting my cat on fire, slashing my puppies throat, beating me into silence every chance he got, locking me in my room for days on end without food or water, name it, those lines to me are not preachy, they are true and something that I do feel, as far as I am concerned he could gobble the barrel of a shotgun and I would fucking laugh as he pulled the trigger, he is scum and deserves to die or at least feel the pain I felt for so long. I do appreciate your feedback, I just thought I would explain why those words are in there like that and what triggered them. Child abusers suck ass and all deserve to be shot in the face

[Chapel]

Your lucky all you got was the belt.
My dad used his fists and put my head through dry wall when i was a kid. 

[sinnocent]

It's very well-written. But these lines seem a little preachy:

What kind of monster could hurt a child
What kind of person could be so vile
I cried out for help yet no one cared
no one would stop him they didn't dare
Everyone turned away from me
they saw what he did and they watched me bleed
Things like this need to end
Love and happiness everywhere needs to begin

But, still, very, very well-written. Good job.

Thanks, I don't really consider it preachy myself, its just how I feel, I mean all the shit that asshole put me through, lighting my cat on fire, slashing my puppies throat, beating me into silence every chance he got, locking me in my room for days on end without food or water, name it, those lines to me are not preachy, they are true and something that I do feel, as far as I am concerned he could gobble the barrel of a shotgun and I would fucking laugh as he pulled the trigger, he is scum and deserves to die or at least feel the pain I felt for so long. I do appreciate your feedback, I just thought I would explain why those words are in there like that and what triggered them. Child abusers suck ass and all deserve to be shot in the face

I'm just saying with how it's phrased. Nothing else. I said it was very well-written. I understand things happened that really, really were terrible . I read it.

[devilspawn69]

Your lucky all you got was the belt.
My dad used his fists and put my head through dry wall when i was a kid. 

damn, that sucks. Yeah the belt isn't what really bothered me it was more the giving me pets than killing them in front of me part that sucked, but I guess I can't complain too much, at least I become who I am today so all in all I got off lucky compared to other kids in similar situations.
I still say child abusers should be shot in the head though but that's because I am evil

[devilspawn69]

It's very well-written. But these lines seem a little preachy:

What kind of monster could hurt a child
What kind of person could be so vile
I cried out for help yet no one cared
no one would stop him they didn't dare
Everyone turned away from me
they saw what he did and they watched me bleed
Things like this need to end
Love and happiness everywhere needs to begin

But, still, very, very well-written. Good job.

Thanks, I don't really consider it preachy myself, its just how I feel, I mean all the shit that asshole put me through, lighting my cat on fire, slashing my puppies throat, beating me into silence every chance he got, locking me in my room for days on end without food or water, name it, those lines to me are not preachy, they are true and something that I do feel, as far as I am concerned he could gobble the barrel of a shotgun and I would fucking laugh as he pulled the trigger, he is scum and deserves to die or at least feel the pain I felt for so long. I do appreciate your feedback, I just thought I would explain why those words are in there like that and what triggered them. Child abusers suck ass and all deserve to be shot in the face

I'm just saying with how it's phrased. Nothing else. I said it was very well-written. I understand things happened that really, really were terrible . I read it.

Its all good, I understood, sometimes it happens while writing poetry, I really do thank you for saying what you felt about it, its much appreciated on my end

[Chapel]

Your lucky all you got was the belt.
My dad used his fists and put my head through dry wall when i was a kid. 

damn, that sucks. Yeah the belt isn't what really bothered me it was more the giving me pets than killing them in front of me part that sucked, but I guess I can't complain too much, at least I become who I am today so all in all I got off lucky compared to other kids in similar situations.
I still say child abusers should be shot in the head though but that's because I am evil

Your old man sounds like a serial killer.
My dad was just a violent prick.
I don't want to blame my father for the person I am but I'm sure if I had grown up differently I wouldn't be such an angry violent short tempered hot head.
I don't like people who kill animals. People deserve to die more than innocent animals.

[devilspawn69]

Your lucky all you got was the belt.
My dad used his fists and put my head through dry wall when i was a kid. 

damn, that sucks. Yeah the belt isn't what really bothered me it was more the giving me pets than killing them in front of me part that sucked, but I guess I can't complain too much, at least I become who I am today so all in all I got off lucky compared to other kids in similar situations.
I still say child abusers should be shot in the head though but that's because I am evil

Your old man sounds like a serial killer.
My dad was just a violent prick.
I don't want to blame my father for the person I am but I'm sure if I had grown up differently I wouldn't be such an angry violent short tempered hot head.
I don't like people who kill animals. People deserve to die more than innocent animals.

Agreed 100% he was my foster dad, he is the reason I believe so strongly in Karma, its a beautiful thing

[Chapel]

Wow. If my father hadn't been my blood father I would have disappeared him a long time ago.

[devilspawn69]

Wow. If my father hadn't been my blood father I would have disappeared him a long time ago.

My stepdad came and got me from there and we moved as a family up here to Arizona, he is my hero

[Chapel]

Your stepdad should have buried him in the desert while he was at it. 

[devilspawn69]

Your stepdad should have buried him in the desert while he was at it. 

The thought crossed his mind, my safety took priority over that I guess, he did punch him out cold though as we left 

[Chapel]

Good for him.
That's what the son of a bitch deserved.

[devilspawn69]

Good for him.
That's what the son of a bitch deserved.

agreed