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Author Topic: So it Shall be Written...  (Read 1869 times)
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jessealess
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« on: September 04, 2009, 01:11:14 AM »
A man stands atop a hill and addresses a crowd.

Man: ... and I shall not let them be forgotton into the endless threads of history!
Crowed: [with blank stares] ...
Man: ...
Crowd: ...
Man: ...
Crowd: ...
[a cricket chips]
Logged
“All of us wear masks. They can be worn out of love and the desire to remain close to those around us; to spare them the complicated reality of our frayed psyches. 
We trade honesty for companionship and in the process, never truly know the hearts closest to us.”
jessealess
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« Reply #1 on: September 04, 2009, 01:11:35 AM »
Randy: Just throw it in.
Cole: Um, where?
Randy: In there.
Cole: Oh, I see.
Randy: Well, so throw it in.
Cole: But what if something happens?
Randy: Nothing's gonna' happen.  Just throw it in, you fucking pussy.
Cole: [apprehensive] Alright, alright. 
[A beat]
Randy: Dude!  Just fucking throw it in already!!
Cole: Fuck it. [Tosses it in... ] OH SHIT!!!
Randy: Haha.. you idiot.
Logged
“All of us wear masks. They can be worn out of love and the desire to remain close to those around us; to spare them the complicated reality of our frayed psyches. 
We trade honesty for companionship and in the process, never truly know the hearts closest to us.”
jessealess
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« Reply #2 on: September 04, 2009, 01:11:50 AM »

A man walks into a Jack in the Box and approaches the counter.

Cashier:  Good evening, sir.  How may I help you?
Man:  Hi, I'd like a Jumbo Jack, hold the mayo, and an order of small fries.
Cashier:  Would you like cheese on your Jack?
Man: What?
Cashire:  Cheese, sir.  Would you like cheese on your burger?
Man:  Oh.  Um... no.  No thanks.
Cashier: What size would you like your fries?
Man:  [looks at cashier through squinted eyes] Small.
Cashier: [pressing a bunch of buttons] OK, so that's a Jumbo Jack, with cheese, and a small order of fries.
Man:  No... no cheese.  And no mayo.
Cashier:  Oh, right...
Man: [sighs]
Cashier:  Alright, that's a Jumbo Jack, no cheese, and small fries.
Man: ... And no mayo.
Cashier:  Right... cheese, no mayo.
Man:  [WTF] No... NO cheese, NO mayo.
Cashier:  Alright... Just give me a second, I have to restart your order.
Man: [exasperated] You know what, forget it... Just give me a Jumbo Jack with everything and a small fries.
Cashier:  Right, a Jumbo Jack, no cheese, and small fries.  Anything else?
Man: [rolls eyes] No, that'll be all.
Cashier: [punches in order - another employee approaches the cashier and whispers something in his ear]
Man: [waits]
Cashier: [to man] I'm sorry sir, we're all out of mayo, will that be alright?
Man: [glares at cashier - through gritted teeth] Yes.
Logged
“All of us wear masks. They can be worn out of love and the desire to remain close to those around us; to spare them the complicated reality of our frayed psyches. 
We trade honesty for companionship and in the process, never truly know the hearts closest to us.”
jessealess
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« Reply #3 on: September 04, 2009, 01:12:07 AM »
An owl and a mouse stare each other down.

Owl: I'm going to eat you.
Mouse: Please don't eat me.
Owl: I'm going to eat you.
Mouse: We can make a deal.
Owl: ...
Mouse: If you let me go, I can get you 10 mice in my place.
Owl: ...
Mouse: [starts backing away - runs back to nest]
Owl:[watching] ...

The mouse returns a few minutes later.

Owl: ...
mouse: Go and hide.  I told them that I'd found a food stash. They should be coming out here in a few hours.
Owl: [eats mouse - waits for the rest]

THE END
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“All of us wear masks. They can be worn out of love and the desire to remain close to those around us; to spare them the complicated reality of our frayed psyches. 
We trade honesty for companionship and in the process, never truly know the hearts closest to us.”
jessealess
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« Reply #4 on: September 04, 2009, 01:12:26 AM »
More later...
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“All of us wear masks. They can be worn out of love and the desire to remain close to those around us; to spare them the complicated reality of our frayed psyches. 
We trade honesty for companionship and in the process, never truly know the hearts closest to us.”
Chapel
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« Reply #5 on: September 04, 2009, 01:48:13 AM »
And man shall go forth and fucketh and fucketh some more.
And Chapel saw this and he smiled and he knew it was good.

So let be written.
So let it be done.
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"Anything that is worth doing is worth overdoing"

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PussyCrust
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« Reply #6 on: September 04, 2009, 04:39:55 AM »
Quote from: jessealess on September 04, 2009, 01:11:14 AM
A man stands atop a hill and addresses a crowd.

Man: ... and I shall not let them be forgotton into the endless threads of history!
Crowed: [with blank stares] ...
Man: ...
Crowd: ...
Man: ...
Crowd: ...
[a cricket chips]
LOL
Logged
Quote from: Zardoz
Death approaches! We are all mortal again! Now we can say 'yes' to death, but never again 'no'. Now, we must make our farewells: to each other, to the sun and moon, trees and sky, earth and rock, the landscape of our long waking-dream.
Quote from: Don Juan
Self-importance is man's greatest enemy. What weakens him is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of his fellow men. Self-importance requires that one spend most of one's life offended by something or someone.
Quote from: Oscar Wilde
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
Hilary
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« Reply #7 on: September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM »
Quote from: jessealess on September 04, 2009, 01:11:14 AM
Crowed
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jessealess
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« Reply #8 on: September 04, 2009, 05:55:54 AM »
Jesse:  Being that I spelled it correctly all the other times it was used, it would have been better for you to point out that I misspelled *chirps*.

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Jesse: I'm just saying.

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Jesse: Whatever. Roll Eyes

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Jesse: ...

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Jesse: [leaves]

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed
Logged
“All of us wear masks. They can be worn out of love and the desire to remain close to those around us; to spare them the complicated reality of our frayed psyches. 
We trade honesty for companionship and in the process, never truly know the hearts closest to us.”
BlackMagic
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« Reply #9 on: September 04, 2009, 06:11:49 AM »
 laughing
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Quote from: J on February 22, 2010, 12:21:47 AM
It's ok. I suppose I'll have to pass the torch on eventually, and you seem to be the front runner to carry on my legacy.
Quote from: King_Solomon on February 22, 2010, 12:25:44 AM
Just whatever you do, don't give it to Loucy. look around
Quote from: King of Judah on February 22, 2010, 01:22:34 AM
Why? What will she do with it?
Quote from: King_Solomon on February 22, 2010, 04:59:34 AM
Bad things.
PussyCrust
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« Reply #10 on: September 04, 2009, 06:17:18 AM »
I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE BACK.
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Quote from: Zardoz
Death approaches! We are all mortal again! Now we can say 'yes' to death, but never again 'no'. Now, we must make our farewells: to each other, to the sun and moon, trees and sky, earth and rock, the landscape of our long waking-dream.
Quote from: Don Juan
Self-importance is man's greatest enemy. What weakens him is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of his fellow men. Self-importance requires that one spend most of one's life offended by something or someone.
Quote from: Oscar Wilde
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
Hilary
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« Reply #11 on: September 04, 2009, 07:02:36 AM »
Quote from: jessealess on September 04, 2009, 05:55:54 AM
Jesse:  Being that I spelled it correctly all the other times it was used, it would have been better for you to point out that I misspelled *chirps*.

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Jesse: I'm just saying.

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Jesse: Whatever. Roll Eyes

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Jesse: ...

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Jesse: [leaves]

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

mihihi
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jessealess
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« Reply #12 on: September 05, 2009, 08:48:14 AM »
Somewhere in New Mexico.

Lizard: 'Sup.
Chicken: 'Sup.
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“All of us wear masks. They can be worn out of love and the desire to remain close to those around us; to spare them the complicated reality of our frayed psyches. 
We trade honesty for companionship and in the process, never truly know the hearts closest to us.”
BlackMagic
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« Reply #13 on: September 05, 2009, 01:05:04 PM »
 laughing
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Quote from: J on February 22, 2010, 12:21:47 AM
It's ok. I suppose I'll have to pass the torch on eventually, and you seem to be the front runner to carry on my legacy.
Quote from: King_Solomon on February 22, 2010, 12:25:44 AM
Just whatever you do, don't give it to Loucy. look around
Quote from: King of Judah on February 22, 2010, 01:22:34 AM
Why? What will she do with it?
Quote from: King_Solomon on February 22, 2010, 04:59:34 AM
Bad things.
MysticSoul
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Perversion drives the soul.



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« Reply #14 on: September 05, 2009, 03:41:03 PM »
Quote from: jessealess on September 04, 2009, 05:55:54 AM
Jesse:  Being that I spelled it correctly all the other times it was used, it would have been better for you to point out that I misspelled *chirps*.

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Jesse: I'm just saying.

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Jesse: Whatever. Roll Eyes

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Jesse: ...

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Jesse: [leaves]

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

laughing laughing heart
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Quote from: Phate on June 29, 2008, 03:18:40 PM
Now now, It's not fail until Broder graces it (thread) with his presence.  Wink
Quote from: Jessealess
Hey Apple, do you think we could include Mystic's "work" in your section... does it really exist?  Can we capture it?
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