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November 20, 2009, 04:54:20 PM
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Author Topic: So it Shall be Written...  (Read 977 times)
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jessealess
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« on: September 04, 2009, 01:11:14 AM »
A man stands atop a hill and addresses a crowd.

Man: ... and I shall not let them be forgotton into the endless threads of history!
Crowed: [with blank stares] ...
Man: ...
Crowd: ...
Man: ...
Crowd: ...
[a cricket chips]
Logged
“All of us wear masks.  They can be worn out of love and the desire to remain close to those around us; to spare them the complicated reality of our frayed psyches. 
We trade honesty for companionship and in the process, never truly know the hearts closest to us.”
jessealess
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« Reply #1 on: September 04, 2009, 01:11:35 AM »
Randy: Just throw it in.
Cole: Um, where?
Randy: In there.
Cole: Oh, I see.
Randy: Well, so throw it in.
Cole: But what if something happens?
Randy: Nothing's gonna' happen.  Just throw it in, you fucking pussy.
Cole: [apprehensive] Alright, alright. 
[A beat]
Randy: Dude!  Just fucking throw it in already!!
Cole: Fuck it. [Tosses it in... ] OH SHIT!!!
Randy: Haha.. you idiot.
Logged
“All of us wear masks.  They can be worn out of love and the desire to remain close to those around us; to spare them the complicated reality of our frayed psyches. 
We trade honesty for companionship and in the process, never truly know the hearts closest to us.”
jessealess
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« Reply #2 on: September 04, 2009, 01:11:50 AM »

A man walks into a Jack in the Box and approaches the counter.

Cashier:  Good evening, sir.  How may I help you?
Man:  Hi, I'd like a Jumbo Jack, hold the mayo, and an order of small fries.
Cashier:  Would you like cheese on your Jack?
Man: What?
Cashire:  Cheese, sir.  Would you like cheese on your burger?
Man:  Oh.  Um... no.  No thanks.
Cashier: What size would you like your fries?
Man:  [looks at cashier through squinted eyes] Small.
Cashier: [pressing a bunch of buttons] OK, so that's a Jumbo Jack, with cheese, and a small order of fries.
Man:  No... no cheese.  And no mayo.
Cashier:  Oh, right...
Man: [sighs]
Cashier:  Alright, that's a Jumbo Jack, no cheese, and small fries.
Man: ... And no mayo.
Cashier:  Right... cheese, no mayo.
Man:  [WTF] No... NO cheese, NO mayo.
Cashier:  Alright... Just give me a second, I have to restart your order.
Man: [exasperated] You know what, forget it... Just give me a Jumbo Jack with everything and a small fries.
Cashier:  Right, a Jumbo Jack, no cheese, and small fries.  Anything else?
Man: [rolls eyes] No, that'll be all.
Cashier: [punches in order - another employee approaches the cashier and whispers something in his ear]
Man: [waits]
Cashier: [to man] I'm sorry sir, we're all out of mayo, will that be alright?
Man: [glares at cashier - through gritted teeth] Yes.
Logged
“All of us wear masks.  They can be worn out of love and the desire to remain close to those around us; to spare them the complicated reality of our frayed psyches. 
We trade honesty for companionship and in the process, never truly know the hearts closest to us.”
jessealess
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« Reply #3 on: September 04, 2009, 01:12:07 AM »
An owl and a mouse stare each other down.

Owl: I'm going to eat you.
Mouse: Please don't eat me.
Owl: I'm going to eat you.
Mouse: We can make a deal.
Owl: ...
Mouse: If you let me go, I can get you 10 mice in my place.
Owl: ...
Mouse: [starts backing away - runs back to nest]
Owl:[watching] ...

The mouse returns a few minutes later.

Owl: ...
mouse: Go and hide.  I told them that I'd found a food stash. They should be coming out here in a few hours.
Owl: [eats mouse - waits for the rest]

THE END
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“All of us wear masks.  They can be worn out of love and the desire to remain close to those around us; to spare them the complicated reality of our frayed psyches. 
We trade honesty for companionship and in the process, never truly know the hearts closest to us.”
jessealess
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« Reply #4 on: September 04, 2009, 01:12:26 AM »
More later...
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“All of us wear masks.  They can be worn out of love and the desire to remain close to those around us; to spare them the complicated reality of our frayed psyches. 
We trade honesty for companionship and in the process, never truly know the hearts closest to us.”
Chapel
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« Reply #5 on: September 04, 2009, 01:48:13 AM »
And man shall go forth and fucketh and fucketh some more.
And Chapel saw this and he smiled and he knew it was good.

So let be written.
So let it be done.
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PussyCrust
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« Reply #6 on: September 04, 2009, 04:39:55 AM »
Quote from: jessealess on September 04, 2009, 01:11:14 AM
A man stands atop a hill and addresses a crowd.

Man: ... and I shall not let them be forgotton into the endless threads of history!
Crowed: [with blank stares] ...
Man: ...
Crowd: ...
Man: ...
Crowd: ...
[a cricket chips]
LOL
Logged
Quote from: Robert A. Heinlein
I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.

Quote from: George Carlin
A little cancer never hurt anybody.

Quote from: jessealess on February 21, 2008, 12:25:11 PM
U niggas  acten' like a big oil spill o' tar babies.

Quote from: Chapel on Yesterday at 07:23:19 PM
Prepare to engage my penis and lick around my nuts.
The Incredible Hilk
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« Reply #7 on: September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM »
Quote from: jessealess on September 04, 2009, 01:11:14 AM
Crowed
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jessealess
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« Reply #8 on: September 04, 2009, 05:55:54 AM »
Jesse:  Being that I spelled it correctly all the other times it was used, it would have been better for you to point out that I misspelled *chirps*.

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Jesse: I'm just saying.

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Jesse: Whatever. Roll Eyes

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Jesse: ...

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Jesse: [leaves]

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed
Logged
“All of us wear masks.  They can be worn out of love and the desire to remain close to those around us; to spare them the complicated reality of our frayed psyches. 
We trade honesty for companionship and in the process, never truly know the hearts closest to us.”
BlackMagic
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« Reply #9 on: September 04, 2009, 06:11:49 AM »
 laughing
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Quote from: jessealess on November 09, 2009, 10:33:12 PM
Quote from: MysticSoul on November 09, 2009, 10:22:38 PM
I'm sure Satanah will make a note of that and file it appropriately.  Wink
LOL!  We're like her own private little zoo of freaks.  She probably logs on just to gawk at us and our idiocy. 
PussyCrust
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« Reply #10 on: September 04, 2009, 06:17:18 AM »
I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE BACK.
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Quote from: Robert A. Heinlein
I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.

Quote from: George Carlin
A little cancer never hurt anybody.

Quote from: jessealess on February 21, 2008, 12:25:11 PM
U niggas  acten' like a big oil spill o' tar babies.

Quote from: Chapel on Yesterday at 07:23:19 PM
Prepare to engage my penis and lick around my nuts.
The Incredible Hilk
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« Reply #11 on: September 04, 2009, 07:02:36 AM »
Quote from: jessealess on September 04, 2009, 05:55:54 AM
Jesse:  Being that I spelled it correctly all the other times it was used, it would have been better for you to point out that I misspelled *chirps*.

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Jesse: I'm just saying.

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Jesse: Whatever. Roll Eyes

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Jesse: ...

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Jesse: [leaves]

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

mihihi
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jessealess
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« Reply #12 on: September 05, 2009, 08:48:14 AM »
Somewhere in New Mexico.

Lizard: 'Sup.
Chicken: 'Sup.
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“All of us wear masks.  They can be worn out of love and the desire to remain close to those around us; to spare them the complicated reality of our frayed psyches. 
We trade honesty for companionship and in the process, never truly know the hearts closest to us.”
BlackMagic
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« Reply #13 on: September 05, 2009, 01:05:04 PM »
 laughing
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Quote from: jessealess on November 09, 2009, 10:33:12 PM
Quote from: MysticSoul on November 09, 2009, 10:22:38 PM
I'm sure Satanah will make a note of that and file it appropriately.  Wink
LOL!  We're like her own private little zoo of freaks.  She probably logs on just to gawk at us and our idiocy. 
MysticSoul
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« Reply #14 on: September 05, 2009, 03:41:03 PM »
Quote from: jessealess on September 04, 2009, 05:55:54 AM
Jesse:  Being that I spelled it correctly all the other times it was used, it would have been better for you to point out that I misspelled *chirps*.

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Jesse: I'm just saying.

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Jesse: Whatever. Roll Eyes

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Jesse: ...

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

Jesse: [leaves]

Hilary:
Quote from: Hilary on September 04, 2009, 04:45:31 AM
Crowed

laughing laughing heart
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Quote from: jessealess on Yesterday at 02:31:20 PM
I see your post, and I know it has words in them, but all I read is "cluck-cluck-cluck".
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[jessealess] 2:14 pm: Hey Apple, do you think we could include Mystic's "work" in your section... does it really exist?  Can we capture it?
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