Song I Wrote--I need opinions on things to change in it~

[naughtygoth]

You paint this picture in my mind
Of what you've said a thousand times
You say you'd never lie to me

But can you really say
That you won't leave me the next day
Or find someone better than me.

Can you prove your worth my time
Can you catch me when I fall
Will be standing there with open arms
Or will we lose it all?

[Chorus]
If you think you can cheat
If you think you can lie
I'll drop you in a second
In the blink of an eye
You'll be gone
Won't say I regret it
You'll be out of my life
And that'll be the end of it.
Just as long as you promise
To never break us apart
I promise you'll always have a place
Inside this healing heart.

You say that we'll be together
From now til forever
But can I trust these words?

Well all I haven't is broken hope
And heartbreak inwhich I cannot cope
Will you always be there?
(Will you always be there?)

Can you say that you see
In the future, just you and me
Or just a shattered dream of love?

[Chorus]

You say we'll never see the end
Always together, Lover or friend
How wrong could you have been?

Now that your gone, I finally see
You were never the one for me
I deserve better than your
"Together Forever"

I'll move on...
I hope you see that you were wrong...
Love that can never be...
Your now just history...

[Reeses Pieces]

you should let me steal this...

[BlackMagic]

Is this supposed to be like a cry in your beer country song?  No offense, but it's very typical and predictable.

[Reeses Pieces]

emo

[CipherGeist]

your = belonging to you

you're = you are

don't make me say this again siiiiiiiigh   

i don't think this is terrible, but you really need to stretch yourself more and dig deeper.  i agree with Lucy, its fairly typical.  unfortunately theres nothing to be said that hasn't already been said, so you've already got that against you.  i suggest getting into the real feelings a little more, making it more personal. 

[CerebralVomit]

...you better have a midget in the video. scratch that, 15 midgets and 5 midget amputees. That would be the ONLY interesting thing. And i do wanna see a midget amputee...